250 Words on 250 Words

[I try to start my day writing 250 words on anything. I’ll post one every Tuesday until I run out of good ones.]

Exactly one year ago today, August 5, 2024, I posted my first “250 Words” essay (it works out to the same date because I initially posted them on Mondays before switching to Tuesdays). I still enjoy doing them and don’t plan to stop. I hope you’re enjoying them, too.

Some readers have said that these posts are one of the few light or thoughtful things they can count on reading every week, and I appreciate that. That’s the goal. They’re a good length to express one idea with a beginning, middle and end that can be read in a minute.

When I started writing 250-word pieces as a private morning warm-up, I first tried 200 words. That was too short to finish a thought. I tried 300 words but that was too long. I decided that 250 was juuuust right. I think of this as writing a weekly column for a small daily newspaper. 

They’re all precisely 250 words, by the way. I work at that. 

As I review the preceding 52 essays, I see surprising cumulative weight. Each is a bite-sized nugget, but together they also provide a good, granular overview of how I think about things, what I care about, and my life. I always said that if someone wanted to know me better than my longest, dearest friends do, all they had to do was read my comics. Now I’d add these essays to the list. 

On to another year, or until it stops being fun! Thanks.

* * * 

PLEASE SUBSCRIBE! I am sharing these little "250 Words On" essays via Substack, which will email a new one to your In Box every Tuesday morning. Just follow this link and enter your email address. It's free, and I promise to never use your address for evil purposes.

Savage on the Hornet 4

Former Mythbuster Adam Savage has posted his fourth video exploring my favorite aircraft carrier museum, the USS Hornet - Sea, Air and Space Museum. I believe this is the last one, although who knows? If Mr. Savage's "Tested" crew got enough good footage out of their day aboard ship, they may go on forever. 

This episode focuses on aircraft restoration, most of which is done by a burly crew of gear-head volunteers as well as a neat corps of high school students. As always, I love Adam's enthusiasm, which is well-matched in this video by his guide, Anthony. One thing that's generally true about the Hornet staff: they're passionate about their jobs and their ship!

The Hornet is in the middle of its summer fundraising push and would love it if Adam's 7 million subscribers donated a dollar each. Well, that's not going to happen, but if you watch the video, maybe consider clicking on this link and sending them a few bucks? In addition, here's the Hornet's wish list that Adam and Anthony mentioned. They're a big ship with a small-museum budget and every donation counts. 

A Cold Load Off My Mind

There's something important I've wanted to get off my chest for 35 years, and I figure today is the day.

There is a scene in "Back to the Future Part III" (1990) in which time-traveling inventor Doc Brown, trapped in the year 1885, shows Marty McFly an enormous whirring, clanking, hissing machine whose purpose is a mystery until it deposits a few dirty ice cubes in a bowl. It's an ice maker! Very charming and funny.

My problem: artificial refrigeration had already been invented and was pretty widespread by 1885. Refrigeration doesn't require electricity; it can be done with steam power. Commercial ice plants were operating in most major cities, including Los Angeles, which couldn't have been far from Doc and Marty's fictional Hill Valley, Calif. (which was also somehow within walking distance of Monument Valley, Arizona, but never mind). If Doc Brown wanted ice, he could have had blocks of it shipped from L.A. on the train he later hijacked to accelerate his DeLorean to 88 mph and travel back to the future. 

The only way I can reconcile it is to think of the ice-making scene as a character bit, like how in the first "Back to the Future" movie Doc built an elaborate Rube Goldberg device to feed his dog and cook breakfast. Maybe his Wild West freezer was the same sort of thing: an unnecessarily complicated creation to accomplish something that could have been done much easier (and produced ice that didn't look like mud) but less cinematically or fun.

Otherwise, it's the one piece of the "Back to the Future" trilogy that shatters my suspension of disbelief. Or, as a disappointed Ant Man realized in "Avengers: Endgame," "So 'Back to the Future' is a bunch of bullshit?!"

CAM Commissions Completed

As I mentioned last week, I signed up to do art commissions to support the Cartoon Art Museum in San Francisco while Comic-Con International was raging in San Diego. In exchange for a donation, people could ask the artist of their choice to draw pretty much whatever they wanted. I've done it before, always enjoyed the variety and challenge, and this year was no different!

I wanted to share three of them. The commissioner of the fourth one wants to keep it private. All are done in ink and colored pencil on cardstock. These will be off to their new homes and owners in a couple of days.

Little John requested "Captain Marvel (Original Big Red Cheese)". There have been many characters called Captain Marvel over the years, including the most recent played by Brie Larson, but this is the original real deal who sometimes goes by the name "Shazam!" (for complicated historical legal reasons). I had fun drawing the lightning. 

The requester asked for "a gargoyle." I emailed back to ask what she had in mind: a character from the old "Gargoyles" cartoon show? Disney's "Hunchback of Notre Dame?" Any particular cathedral or era? She sent me back a photo of a concrete statue in her yard that resembled a traditional Asian dragon, so that was my inspiration. 

Heather asked for "Powerpuff Girls or artist's similar choice of (non-sexualized) female superhero." No alternative choice necessary because I love the Powerpuff Girls and have been drawing them since my daughters were little! The Powerpuff Girls are kind of like "Peanuts" characters in that their designs look very simple but you have to get them just right or they look completely wrong. Deceptively hard to draw, especially while trying to impart a little style of my own. 

These were all a hoot, and each stretched different art muscles. I don't otherwise do commissions, but I've always been happy to raise a few bucks for CAM, a fine institution of culture and scholarship. If you ever visit the San Francisco waterfront near Ghirardelli Square, drop in and tell 'em I sent you. They won't give you a discount or anything, but word might get back to me and it'd make my day.

250 Words on My Sitter Mona

[I try to start my day writing 250 words on anything. I’ll post one every Tuesday until I run out of good ones.]

When my sister and I were very small and Mom was at work, we were watched by a daycare provider named Mona. Mona was ancient, so probably much younger than I am now. She was also sweet, patient, and good with children. We loved her.

Mona had a large backyard across the street from a fire station. Very exciting! She left us mostly to ourselves, which is a great gift to give a child. I still remember picking clover, putting it in an empty can with a trapped bee, and waiting for it to transform into honey. 

What “educational enrichment activity” could top that?

Mona fried donuts in a giant kettle of boiling oil; none tasted better. She had an aluminum Christmas tree illuminated by a rotating wheel of colors. Enchanting!

Her only flaw was that she was an Andy Williams fan who hated the Beatles, so because we loved Mona we hated the Beatles, too. 

One morning, when my sister and I decided to run away from home, we wrapped up our most precious possessions and tied them to sticks, like little cartoon hobos, and headed toward Mona’s. Unlike our awful mother, Mona would surely love and cherish us! We might have made it if Mom hadn’t caught up to us two blocks from home, too relieved to spank but too angry to hug. 

I hope Mona knew how important she was to at least two of her charges, and that they’d remember her so fondly many decades later.

* * * 

PLEASE SUBSCRIBE! I am sharing these little "250 Words On" essays via Substack, which will email a new one to your In Box every Tuesday morning. Just follow this link and enter your email address. It's free, and I promise to never use your address for evil purposes.

Report from Mill Valley

I had a good time talking A Fire Story at the Mill Valley Public Library last night. Got about three dozen people, which I think is a great turnout for a library talk on a Thursday evening. 

It was also an unusually interested and knowledgeable group, including a retired firefighter with 30 years' experience, a man in the fire prevention business, and a woman who helps evacuate horses from wildfires (a very specialized form of aid in its own). It was great to meet the sister of an old work friend. Librarian Jenn was an excellent host. Best of all, my wife Karen, our two daughters, and their friend Emily all came, and we had a fine dinner afterward. Even sold a few books!

Librarian Jenn warming up the crowd which, as I wrote, numbered about three dozen (this photo only shows a little slice, many more were sitting off to the left). They were very engaged and we had a great Q&A and discussion at the end.

I showed the video of A Fire Story made by PBS station KQED, which I haven't actually watched in quite a while. I looked over at my family to see they all had tears welling up, as did I. That thing deserved its Emmy Award.

A good night with the best company!

Savage on the Hornet 3

Former Mythbuster Adam Savage posts his third in a series of videos exploring my favorite aircraft carrier museum, the USS Hornet Sea, Air and Space Museum. Again, I love his enthusiasm, especially as this episode focuses on the Hornet's Apollo-related artifacts (the Hornet is the carrier that plucked Apollos 11 and 12 from the Pacific). 

I've poked my head inside that Apollo test capsule (CM-011 for those following along at home) and been inside the Mobile Quarantine Facility (MQF), although the bunks Adam crawls into have always been off-limits. Lucky Adam! I have a story about my personal involvement with an MQF-related artifact that I'll share some other time. 

There are other museum ships and even other museum aircraft carriers, but the Hornet's involvement in the Space Race makes it very special (plus the fact that they employ one of my daughters!). I love seeing Mr. Savage bring it some attention it deserves.

Review: Superman

I saw the new Superman movie today. I approached it with some wariness because people whose opinions I respect seemed to either love it or hate it. Not many landed in the middle. So I was cautiously optimistic, hoping to like it but ready to not.

I liked it. My no-spoiler thoughts:

I have some misgivings--in particular, there's one moment that felt violently out of place to
me--but overall I think it's the best cinematic portrayal of Superman since 1978 (not counting the 1990s' animated Superman by Bruce Timm, Paul Dini and team, which was practically flawless). David Corenswet plays a sincerely pure-hearted superhero in a way that only two actors, Christopher Reeve and Chris Evans, have pulled off before in my opinion. 

With all respect and affection for their predecessors, Rachel Brosnahan and Nicholas Hoult are the best Lois Lane and Lex Luthor ever shown on screen. Brosnahan's Lois seems sharper than Margot Kidder's, and a good even match for Superman. Hoult's Luthor has a complex personality and interesting motivation. As with all the best villains, you can kind of see his point of view.

Krypto the superdog doesn't work for everyone, but he worked for me.

One quality I liked best about the movie is one I've seen some reviewers complain about: the film drops us into a crowded world of complex mythology and a pantheon of heroes and villains without holding our hand very much. But isn't that how we all learned to love comics? Unless you bought Action #1 off the news stand in 1938, you just dove into the deep end and figured out who was who, what was going on, and the rules of the universe as you went. 

I have to admit, I liked the film's allegorical politics. Megalomaniacal billionaires have been reliable villains for decades--see almost any James Bond movie--but it seems especially relevant now, doesn't it? And yes, Superman is "woke" because he always has been, fighting Nazis and the KKK since his early days. As the meme goes, if you think the entertainment you grew up with turned woke, maybe you just turned into a terrible person. 

I think this is an interesting new direction for DC Comics filmmaking that sets it apart from Marvel's worldbuilding and tone, and I look forward to seeing what James Gunn and his crew do next.

2025 Comic-Con Sketch-a-Thon

Ah, the smell of FOMO in the morning! I will not be at Comic-Con International in San Diego this week. My friends who are will have to muddle through without me. However . . .

I will be supporting the Cartoon Art Museum (CAM) in San Francisco with one of their fun fundraisers in which artists draw commissions for cash! You can choose your artist at THIS LINK HERE, pledge the specified amount, and have them draw whatever you want (let's keep it PG-rated). From my perspective, I've been delighted to draw some weird stuff I never would have thought of and, in some cases, had never heard of. Some past examples are attached.

If you were at Comic-Con, you could drop by the CAM table and have a random artist sketch something for you. I've volunteered to do that before and it's fun but I don't do my best work in that situation. Somewhere in the world is a kid for whom I drew Chewbacca dunking a basketball who deserves a refund. Better to sign up for me online, where I can take my time and do it right. Honestly, I tend to go above and beyond on these things to make them as pretty as I can.

If you love a character of mine or have another favorite character that, for some unfathomable reason, you'd like to see my version of, sign up and in a week or two I will mail you a piece of one-of-a-kind original artwork suitable for framing or blotting up spilled coffee. My slots fill up fast and I don't otherwise do commissions, so don't wait. It's a good price and for a good cause!

Garbage collectors from the movie "The Burbs."

The Scarecrow of Romney Marsh

I couldn't draw it for my book, but I could draw it for you!

250 Words on Not Being That Guy

[I try to start my day writing 250 words on anything. I’ll post one every Tuesday until I run out of good ones.]

I recently suffered a little identity crisis when Karen and I stopped for a bite at a small-town Mexican restaurant we hadn't been to before. The waitress asked if we wanted anything to drink. I replied, "Do you have a margarita?" "Yeah," she said, "but it's made with white wine. We only have a license for wine and beer." 

“Oh, a beer will be fine," I pivoted. "What do you have on tap?” 

"Nothing on tap, only bottles," she said. "Bud, Bud Light, Coors, Coors Light . . ." plus a long list of other brands before she named one I wouldn’t mind paying for and drinking. 

Our exchange was quick and perfectly pleasant, but it stuck in my craw. I felt like Thurston Howell III swooning because Gilligan's Island wasn't stocked with his favorite brand of tonic water. (Note to readers under 50: that's a reference to an old TV show about seven characters, including a snooty rich guy, stranded on a deserted tropical isle.) 

Have I become That Guy? I don't want to be someone who demands too much and whines when he doesn’t get it. Spoiled, picky, entitled. While I don't think it's unreasonable to expect a Mexican restaurant to serve margaritas or draft beer, I got a reflected glimpse of how I might look to someone else, and didn't much care for it. 

I took it as a reminder to improve my situational awareness. Don’t assume, pay attention, read the room. Or even read the menu! 

* * * 

PLEASE SUBSCRIBE! I am sharing these little "250 Words On" essays via Substack, which will email a new one to your In Box every Tuesday morning. Just follow this link and enter your email address. It's free, and I promise to never use your address for evil purposes.

Appearance: Mill Valley Public Library

Bay Area (and especially Marin County) Friends! This Thursday, July 24, I'll be talking about "A Fire Story" at the Mill Valley Public Library at 6 p.m. I don't have many public events coming up on my calendar, so if you want to say Howdy this would be a good opportunity! 

Event information is HERE. The library is asking folks to register. I'm sure they'd still let you in if you just showed up, but it'd be polite to give them a head count. Thanks!

Apollo on the Hornet

EYEWITNESS TO HISTORY! Just in time for the anniversary of Apollo 11, the USS Hornet - Sea, Air and Space Museum has posted never-before-seen home movies of the Hornet's recovery of Apollo 11! The film is from museum volunteer Joe Holt, who in 1969 was a Marine sergeant stationed aboard the Hornet. 

Nobody but Mr. Holt and his family have EVER seen this footage! The first half shows the recovery of Armstrong, Aldrin and Collins and their spacecraft, Columbia, with glimpses of the astronauts inside the Mobile Quarantine Facility (a tricked-out Airstream trailer) and President Richard Nixon. The second half shows the crowd that welcomed the Hornet to Pearl Harbor where they offloaded the MQF, and then quite a survey of other Naval ships in port at the time.

I think eyewitness records like this offer a whole different perspective on historic events from people who played a role in them. Many thanks to Mr. Holt for sharing it with the world.

250 Words on Rules for Living

[I try to start my day writing 250 words on anything. I’ll post one every Tuesday until I run out of good ones.]

Over time, I’ve accumulated some Rules for Living. They form a nearly unbreakable code that guides my actions.

Rule 1: Always stop for a lemonade stand. As young entrepreneurs, my sister and I opened many, and one customer made our entire day. The quality of the lemonade is irrelevant.

Rule 2: Always tip a street musician. I try to keep a buck in my pocket for just this purpose. The quality of the music is irrelevant.

Rule 3: We raised our children on this: If a kid wants to read a book with you, stop whatever you’re doing and read the book. 

Rule 4: We also raised our children on this: never let kids play one parent against the other. Even if one of us thought the other was wrong, we’d back them up and discuss it later.

Rule 5: Never mess with another man’s fire. I use the word “man” warily but deliberately, as I’ve never met a woman who has a particular way of building a fire that never fails and NO NO YOU’RE DOING IT ALL WRONG! Whereas I’ve met a lot of men who do. 

Rule 5a: Never mess with another man’s grill. A subsidiary rule because it’s cooking over fire, even if the flames are fueled by propane. 

The trick on the last two is to stand by quietly while your host botches the job and you can swoop in to save the day. The best heroes are silent but ready. 

What are your rules?

* * * 

PLEASE SUBSCRIBE! I am sharing these little "250 Words On" essays via Substack, which will email a new one to your In Box every Tuesday morning. Just follow this link and enter your email address. It's free, and I promise to never use your address for evil purposes.