250 Words on Reframing

[I try to start my day writing 250 words on anything. I’ll post one every Tuesday until I run out of good ones.]

I once read about a foreign diplomat who met with the elders of a remote village and was offered a cup of tea. The tea was a revolting, nearly undrinkable sludge, but it would have been a grievous insult to refuse. 

“Then,” he said something like, “I found that if I didn’t think of it as tea but rather as soup, it was actually pretty good.”

That stayed with me. Adjusting your perception of a situation can entirely change your feelings about it.

For example, we’ve all had a driver speed past us, weaving dangerously through traffic just to get a minute ahead. “They must be a surgeon on their way to an emergency operation,” I joke to anyone in the car, but I’m half-serious. I remember driving through the city at 2 a.m. to get to my wife in the hospital before my daughters were born, and strictly following traffic laws was not my top priority. 

Yes, the driver in that careening car is probably an angry, rude, arrogant idiot. But I don’t know that, or them, or what’s going on in their life. I might have looked exactly like them racing to the hospital in the middle of the night. Since I can’t do anything about it anyway, reframing the situation is a good way to get on with my day a bit less stressfully. 

I don’t know you. You don’t know me. Nobody’s always at their best. Let’s try to afford each other a bit of grace. 

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Book Launch by the Bay

Evidence of how beautiful a day on the Bay it was. This was on the ferry to San Francisco (if you're not familiar with the geography, the skyline of S.F. is just out of frame to the left). Alcatraz is on the right and the Golden Gate Bridge is in the background. Clear skies to the horizon.

Had a pretty good event at the Book Passage Bookstore in the San Francisco Ferry Building yesterday. Turnout was light--fewer than a dozen--which the store manager warned me might happen. It was a beautiful, warm, sunny day in the City, and she explained that in her experience people would rather enjoy a blue-sky afternoon on the Bay than in a bookstore. 

Still, I got to take my new Mom's Cancer: Anniversary Edition talk for a spin (verdict: solid!), sold a few books, and met some good people. In addition, as my friends and readers may recall, yesterday was my daughters' birthday so we made a whole family day out of it.

Stack of books by the door. Book Passage actually stocked copies of ALL my books for people to buy, which is unusual. They went the extra mile.

My introduction. Most photos by my wife, Karen (thanks!).

Cartoonist/teacher/fellow-Abrams-author Justin Hall showed up to interview me as part of the program. I’ve met Justin a few times but don’t really know him, but his questions were so good and thoughtful, and our discussion so lively, it was like we’d planned and rehearsed it for weeks. I wish I could take him everywhere. Thanks so much, Justin! I owe you.

Justin Hall really did a fantastic job with this Q&A. As a cartoonist himself, he asked all the right questions and built thoughtfully on my answers without getting too deep in the weeds for "civilians." I could have talked with him for hours, and wouldn't mind a chance to do that sometime.

Book Passage had a nice display of Abrams books, which I was happy to see.

When you write a book like Mom's Cancer (or A Fire Story), you meet some extraordinary people in the signing line, and yesterday was no exception. My last was an older woman who’d just happened into the store while waiting for her ferry, and explained that her daughter had died of cancer three months ago and left her to care for her two grandsons. She cried, I almost cried, and she bought the book to help explain to the kids what had happened to their mother. 

Other graphic novelists don’t make those connections.

Thanks to Book Passage and Justin for a good launch on a great day.

The Book Passage store is inside San Francisco's historic ferry building, which for several months has been guarded by a giant woman made of steel and chicken wire. This sculpture was controversial when it was installed but I think people have come to appreciate her. I do.

Here's how hard my day's transportation was: the ferry that we took from Larkspur Landing to San Francisco, the "Mendocino," is on the right. The Book Passage store, as shown by the sign above the pedestrian walkway, is on the left. That's a short commute. When we were done we had dinner nearby and then caught the same ferry back toward home.

Happy Birthday, Pooters

Their first birthday party. More parties followed,
including one later today. They're neater eaters now. 

The Ides of March have had a bad reputation since 44 B.C.--thanks, Caesar!--but at least for me the date was redeemed when my daughters were born on it. Happy Birthday, Laura and Robin. Thank you for making me a Dad!

See You at S.F. Book Passage, Sunday at 2 p.m.

S.F. Bay Area Friends! If you find yourself near the San Francisco Ferry Building this Sunday, March 15 at 2 p.m., I'd sure appreciate it if you'd drop by the Book Passage Bookstore, listen to me talk, and maybe even buy a copy of Mom's Cancer: Anniversary Edition. I can think of worse ways to spend a beautiful day in a beautiful city! Thanks.

https://www.bookpassage.com/event/brian-fies-mom%E2%80%99s-cancer-anniversary-edition-ferry-building-event

The Intellectual Life #28

A Peek into the Intimate Intellectual Life of a Long-Married Couple, Part 28:

Me: "Can this serving spoon go into the dishwasher?"

Karen: "Yes."

Me: "I never know which can and which can't."

Karen: "Two of them are stainless steel and can go in the dishwasher. One is silver-plate and shouldn't."

Me: "I can't tell them apart."

Karen: "They're very different."

Me: "Not when you're only looking at one of them."

Karen: "The sliver-plate spoon has a daffodil pattern."

Me: "Now I have to be a BOTANIST?!"

Karen: "It's pretty obvious."

Me: "I'll just keep asking to be sure."

This has been a peek into the intimate intellectual life of a long-married couple. 

Review: "I Felt Myself In It."

Here's an insightful review from writer Susan Palmer, shared with my thanks. Nobody's opinion of Mom's Cancer means more to me than that of someone who's been through it themselves. 

"I didn’t understand until I read Fies’s book the kind of deep skill it takes to bring the right words and the right images together. His mother’s journey was quite different than mine. Yet I felt myself in it. For anyone in any stage of that landscape, I imagine the book may have that effect."

250 Words on the Next Guy

[I try to start my day writing 250 words on anything. I’ll post one every Tuesday until I run out of good ones.]

Rebuilding my home taught me one nearly universal constant: no matter what trade you’re dealing with—concrete, framing, electrical, HVAC, tile, flooring, painting—the next guy you call in will tell you that the previous guy didn’t know what he was doing.

(I’m using “guy” generically, recognizing that both men and women can be skilled professional tradespeople, although my experience is limited to men.)

“Who put in this 20-amp circuit breaker?” asks the first guy. “Were they trying to burn down your house?” He puts in a 30-amp breaker.

“Who put in this 30-amp circuit breaker?” demands the next guy. “Were they trying to burn down your house?”

You seldom find such staggering levels of confident incompetence as you do when building a home. We did have a good prime contractor, and what made them good was that they recognized the work of bad subcontractors and corrected it fast. We also learned quickly ourselves.

It’s hard not to conclude that documents like the National Electrical Code or state Building Code, which to a layperson seem like detailed engineering manuals with explicit regulations for every situation and contingency, are matters of opinion and debate. More guidelines than rules, really.

I’ve mentioned my observation to a couple of tradespeople we've hired to do work for us, and every time they seem unamused and deeply insulted. And then they take a look at whatever the project is and say, “Whoever did this didn’t know what they were doing! Good thing you hired me!”

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BOOK EVENTS AHOY!

I wanted to announce three upcoming book talks and signings for the release of the Mom's Cancer: Anniversary Edition so you can put them on your calendars. Heck, why not attend all three? (Nobody but me should do that.)

March 15 at 2 p.m. I will be at Book Passage in the San Francisco Ferry Building. That's next Sunday already! Book Passage is one of the great West Coast independent bookstores that big-time authors make sure to hit when they're in the Bay Area, and they've always been good to me. 

April 9 at 7 p.m. I will be at the Copperfield's Books store in Montgomery Village, Santa Rosa, Calif. Copperfield's is another great indie chain whose support has meant a lot over the years. They're a real champion of local authors, with terrific managers and staff. 

May 16 at 2 p.m. I will be at the Charles M. Schulz Museum, also in Santa Rosa, Calif. I've attended and participated in so many events at the Schulz Museum that it feels like my home away from home, and the ones they held after the 2017 wildfires are personal and professional highlights for me. 

The last two events are not yet on their respective hosts' event calendars, but trust me: I'm booked.

I have other podcasts and interviews in the hopper, which I'll be sure to announce as they emerge. I have no real book tour planned. Those are a lot harder to come by these days. However, if any bookstore within the sound of my electrons is interested in hosting a talk and signing, please let me know!

Career Fair Day

I just spent four hours at a local high school's Career Fair with my pal, cartoonist Lex Fajardo, who is the creator of the Kid Beowulf comics series and editor at the Schulz Studio. Here's why I think that was a good use of my time:

1. Talking shop with Lex. 

2. Offering an alternative. We were surrounded by cops, firefighters, soldiers, engineers, grocery store managers, and many other career choices that there is nothing wrong with except they aren't cartoonists. We had several students and even a couple of teachers who thanked us just for being so different.

3. Approximately 37 out of 38 students couldn't have cared less that we were there, but that one out of 38 lit up like a sun. I would move mountains for the 38th kid.

4. Related: Lex and I agreed that if two people like us has been at OUR high school career fairs, we would have rooted to the spot and absorbed all we could. When I was a kid, I met people who did things I dreamed of doing, and realized that it wasn't magic; they just worked hard and did the things. If they could, then I could. Now I get to be one of those people for someone else. 

5. Free cookies.

That's a good afternoon. 

Review: Near Mint Condition

Here's an extraordinary take on the new edition by a YouTuber who reviews comics under the banner "Near Mint Condition" (I know his name but am not sure he wants it public). 

In more than 20 years of having my work scrutinized, I don't know if I've received a review this detailed, thoughtful, and compassionate. The reviewer read the story closely and brought his own life experience to it. That connection is what writing and reading is all about.

Thanks to my friend Chris Sparks for bringing it to my attention. If you have 13 minutes and are interested, I think it's worth a look! 

A Book Launch Q&A

Timed nicely with yesterday's launch of my new anniversary edition of Mom's Cancer, here's an interview with the Substack pub Autobiographix. This was a Q&A I did a few weeks ago with Amaris Ketcham, who I thought asked some good questions on topics I don't usually get asked about, such as my origin story and stylistic development. For being relatively brief, it goes pretty deep!

Thanks to Amaris and Autobiographix! It's a nice way to mark the occasion of putting a new (or at least updated) book into the world. 

250 Words on Paths

[I try to start my day writing 250 words on anything. I’ll post one every Tuesday until I run out of good ones.]

Countless stories explore the idea of paths not taken, and how different some other direction might have been. Life can turn on a single choice, particularly when it eliminates other choices. You can’t help but wonder.

Existence only seems like an inevitable chain of events leading to Now in retrospect. At the time, it’s chaos. I can recall many seemingly trivial moments that changed the course of my life in ways I didn’t understand until much later.

Once, when I was a newspaper reporter, my editor bellowed across the newsroom asking if anyone wanted to take a weekend junket to cover an electric utility launching a high-tech energy storage project. Nobody else spoke up so I volunteered, and wrote a full-page feature on it. No big deal. Many years later, I applied for work as a science writer, and that article was the only thing I’d published that was relevant to the job. That began a new career for me, which led to freelance writing, which led to full-time cartooning. 

If I hadn’t been in the newsroom just then, or if someone else had spoken first, or if I’d made other plans for that weekend, I might have had an entirely different life. 

It’s natural to speculate on where that untraveled path would have led. I wish I’d handled some choices differently. But the way I see it, I can’t regret anything before my daughters were born, because every decision led to them and any different path would not have. 

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PLEASE SUBSCRIBE! I am sharing these little "250 Words On" essays via Substack, which will email a new one to your In Box every Tuesday morning. Just follow this link and enter your email address. It's free, and I promise to never use your address for evil purposes.

T-Minus One Week and Counting

Friends, very rarely do I post for naked promotional purposes, but my new/old book--the 20th Anniversary Edition of Mom's Cancer--is being released in exactly one week, on March 3. If you have any interest in owning this update of my first graphic novel, now with 32 more pages of content including 22 pages of new art, this would be an excellent time to order it.

As always, I encourage everyone to support their local heroic independent bookseller. Failing that, it's also available from the usual multinational corporations, and I won't think less of you. Make sure you get the new one with the pink spine. 

By way of encouragement, I'll repeat my offer of mailing a free signed bookplate to anyone who asks. Just send me your postal address (brianfiesATgmailDOTcom should do it), tell me how/if you want it inscribed, and I'll pop it in the mail. Honestly, I haven't yet received the bookplates from my printer, but I will soon and they'll look like this. Meanwhile, I've started a list.

I have some book signings and podcast appearances coming up, and will be sure to mention them as they get closer. 

Many thanks!