Some experiences are so momentous they divide your life into “before” and “after.” Everything changes in an instant. Your old life is gone and a new, uncertain life awaits. Whether good or bad, they transform you forever.
I’ve had two: one very good, one very bad.
My daughters’ birth was a leap into a new and better world. I barely remember what my “before” life was like. How did we fill our time? I couldn’t believe the hospital just let us take home babies without a license or instructions. How anyone feels ready for that obligation befuddles me, but we thought we were and it turned out we were right. Becoming “Dad” was a responsibility I relished and the achievement I’m proudest of.
The firestorm that destroyed our home in 2017* was a leap into a different, darker world. My wife, Karen, and I still sort events into “B.F.” or “A.F.”: Before Fire or After Fire. Its legacy is PTSD and loss, seasoned with a pinch of resilience and grit from surviving. It’s a shadow that never strays far from our minds.
I’ve had other significant life deflections, including marriage, career changes and the deaths of family members, but they didn’t rearrange my brain the way parenthood and the fire did. Those made me a different person.
Sometimes, willingly or not, you cross a threshold from one world into another, and there’s no going back. All you can do is press on and create the best new world you can.
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* It's hard to believe that disaster was nine years ago this week. Sometimes it seems like a lifetime ago, other times it seems like last month.
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